when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
