Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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