I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
