She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
