Dual....:-)
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
