I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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