I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
