By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
