he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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