I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
