Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
