apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
