Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
