But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
