I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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