Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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