Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
