My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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