He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
