I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
