Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just had sex bonerless
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
