lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize