I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
