If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
