I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
