so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Randomize
