Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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