i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
