Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
