Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize