I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His hands were made for my vagina.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
