it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Come see our sink grown plant.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
