We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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