How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
