Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
