is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize