I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
