We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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