I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize