Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
