Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
