Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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