girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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