They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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