I need help removing her.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
