my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
