is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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