how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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