The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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