i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is it penis luge time yet?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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