You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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