Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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