Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
