in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
