Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
