He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
