so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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