Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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