he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
