Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
